A few years removed from the undergraduate life and totally disenfranchised by our current state of affairs, (the elimination of the middle class, the war on the working poor, the credit crisis, the war on drugs), getting ahead and the proliferation of the hipsters.

They told me to do well in school, keep your nose clean, get a good job and everything will fall into place.

Check, Check, and Check! So why am I even more lost in this world than when I was stoned, broke and stupid.

Elders would always say, ‘Trust in your talent, whatever it is.’, I wish I’d known in college that I had talent. Instead, I often retreated to the dubious comfort of self-doubt. If you’re surrounded by people who encourage or support your self-doubt, shake them off. I didn’t always do that.

Fast forward to now and thinking about the person I am becoming I am absolutely thrilled. In mist of some self-loathing, I have come to realize that life is good. (Although my immediately family is a few thousand miles away and I’m still not sure how I feel about that just yet, but i digress) Work is where I want to be, being gainfully employed has it’s rewards but at times I ask, ‘What the hell is this all for and if this is what I consider my ‘dream job’ then I’m I’ve been fooled!’

I’ve been getting a handle on how to live my life independently void of any paternal support, financially. My budget is 3 years in the making and I’m still trying to figure out where my money goes. I am conflicted with our culture of constant consumption and the daily needs of consuming. I as well was seduced by lady credit card we are no longer seeing each other. The war on my debt was waged in the early ‘06, many battles have been lost but the war continues.

The intent was always to start a weblog but i didn’t take any initiative for whatever reason and all the reasons. I should probably shut my mouth at times and now I can, so I chose wordpress for the quick and dirty, but mostly because I don’t have time for the other. The focus will be on nothing, my days, ups and downs, my perspectives and more importantly, just whatever I feel like.

Truely,

iRandz